1. What is your response to the idea that we grow closer to God when we deny ourselves something that is permissible but not beneficial? Have you ever had an experience of denying yourself that helped you to grow closer to God? Do you believe this could be true for you in your battle with food? As soon as I heard this statement I agreed with it. The one time I felt closest to God was when I spent 6 months in Guatemala. While there we had limited computer time, limited phone time and I didn't see my family for months. I decided myself things that were permissible but not beneficial and my spiritual life flourished because of that. I can already see and feel this being true for my food journey. I spend a lot more time in prayer and talking to God about life. The music I want to listen to is changing, I can see God in more situations... it's been amazing!
2. Are there areas of life in which you experience self-control and feel that your self-discipline and wise choices honour God? For example, in your spending decisions or how you manage your time? What insights about your strengths in those areas might help you to honour God and grow in self-control with your food choices? I am an organized person, I like to have my house tidy and know what's going on daily in my life. I love organization, really... I'm not anal just like to be organized! I do think this honours God as it allows me to focus on other more important things.
3. Have you ever had the experience of the Holy Spirit nudging you in connection with your food choices? If so, what was that like? If not, how do you hope the Holy Spirit might help you now? Many times, it's usually just a nudge, a thought that slips into my head. Sometimes it tells me should you be eating that? is that right? That sort of thing. It's really wonderful knowing that those times I forget or I'm not strong enough God will remind me and help me say no.
4. As Christians, our calling - and our source of spiritual nourishment - is to do God's will and finish His work (John 4:34). To what degree have consuming thoughts about food impacted your ability to pursue your calling and receive spiritual nourishment?
5. Would you say you are spiritually well fed, spiritually malnourished or somewhere in between? Have you ever tried to use food to satisfy your feelings of spiritual hunger? What was the result? I would say I'm recovering from spiritual malnourishment. I've really allowed food to get between me and God. He would remind me that I needed to change so I turned my back on him. Then I just wanted him to fix my problem... didn't quite work that way but he worked it out and changed my heart. I used food to satisfy my soul for half my life that I can recall. The result, a horrible relationship with Christ and food. Disliking who I am physically and Spiritually dead.
6. If we find certain foods impossible to walk away from, this is a clue that we are being ruled by food on some level. Are there foods you can't or won't deny yourself in order to make a healthier choice? why are these foods especially important to you? What thoughts and feelings arise when you think about potentially giving them up? I have had to work through this over the past 2 weeks and I haven started to deny myself many of those things I couldn't say no to before. It's been very freeing being able to walk away from those things. To see them and not need them.
Victory:
Down 3lbs this week!
Still on plan even after a really tough thursday!
Verse of the day: And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23
Prayer:
Lord, I thank you that you brought me through yesterday. Lord, please give me that same grace today. Please keep reminding me that this is for a bigger cause then smaller pants. Lord, I thank you that you are always ready to teach me and that you are helping me to really understand. I pray Lord, that as I continue to sacrifice food I would continue to know you more. That you would become more real to me. Lord, help me to carry the burdens you have allowed me and to grow into a stronger person in you because of them. Lord I pray as I go to mom and dad's for dinner that I would be able to resist the temptation of the things I shouldn't be eating and that I would stick to the correct amount of the things I should. Lord, please help me to be self controlled and relying on you. Lord, reveal yourself to me through this journey. Amen
I want to eat! I want to sit down with a huge bowl of popcorn and eat all of it myself! I'm soooo tired (I slept like 5 hours last night and 6 the night before) and in the past when I was tired I would eat. It's also thursday which is generally my binge day. Not today! I will stay in plan and I will concur today. Lord, I need you I don't have the power to get through this alone. Carry me!
1. "I was made for more" is a spiritual truth that unlocks great power for Christians. When you think of your past failures and your current struggles with food, how do you hope this truth might help you? There are times when I think that getting healthy is hopeless. Every time I lose weight I gain it back. Every time I work out I eventually give up and stop going. There are times I think is this really worth it? all this work, all this pain, is it really worth it? But knowing that God made me for more then my struggle with weight. God made me for more then to consume food. God made me for more then being stuck in sin. God made to serve him and to do it with everything I have. Not just the small part I have left after food destroys me.
2. When you introduce yourself to someone you don't know, how do you define yourself? What might your introduction reveal about how you understand your own identity? My family is huge to me. I love them to bits and they often come up when I'm introducing myself. My job always seems to take a long chunk of the get to know you strange as well, Part of that could be it's a job not many people have heard of so it takes some explaining. But lets be honest here I don't really introduce myself to many people who I don't know. I'm very worried about being rejected and so I'd rather just not try, it's much easier. This reveals to me that I don't see my worth in Christ. I see it in my family, I can see it in my job. I know in both of those things I am accepted and loved. But in me being me. In me being a child of God I fear rejection from others, even in the church. I fear that they will judge me on my weight, my sarcastic and slightly awkward ways and that they won't get to know me. Because of this I shy away from meeting new people.
3. Have you ever felt like your identity was defines by your circumstances? If you were to describe your identity as Lysa did, what would be on your list? (Lysa, the broken girl girl from a broken home) Andrea, the fat girl. Andrea, the loud girl. Andrea, the one with the huge family. Andrea, the home schooled girl. Andrea, the girl who has been forced to grow up early. Andrea, the good child.
4. How does this understanding of how God sees you impact the circumstance based view of your identity you listed in response to question 3? God sees me a his child, he doesn't see me as the one who's been hurt or judged or who tried to fill the role her parents wanted. Rather he sees me as a confident, victorious. accepted... child. Knowing this, seeing this makes me think, I don't need to fear what others will think of me because I should find my identity in Christ. In him I am made who I am meant to. I don't need to let my past or my present define me I need to let him define me.
Andrea, the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24)
Andrea, the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2)
Andrea, the accepted child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:2
Andrea, the holy child of God. (1 corinthians 1:30)
Andrea, the made-new child of God. ( 2 Corinthians 5:17)
Andrea, the loved child of God (Ephisians 1:4)
Andrea, the close child of God. (Ephesians 1:4)
Andrea, the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12)
Andrea, the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37
5. Read Ephesians 1:17-20 and then reflect on the following questions:
Be persistent: "I keep asking." Do you have any reservations about asking God for wisdom and power each day to help you on this journey? How do you hope persistent prayer might help you?
This has been my prayer since day 1 of MTC that God would give me power, that he would guide me and show me the truth. This prayer has been answered every day! God has been so faithful and each day he is giving me all I need to be taking steps forward and for resisting the temptation to be lazy or the temptation to eat off plan. It's one of the big things I know I need to carry away from MTC, come to God and ask him for your power, wisdom, direction etc and he will guide you.
Embrace a true identity: "Glorious Father." With what untruths about your identity have you struggled? How might your life change if you could embrace the truth of your identity as a child of God?
That I'm not as important as others, or God. I am only good to have around when I'm being useful and helpful. That I'm not worth being loved for me but only for my actions. That everyone else is not dependable, I'm the only one I can trust. I think that last one could even go as far as for many years I thought God wasn't trustworthy. I couldn't depend on him. I would know I'm important because I am me. Not because of what I do but just because of who I am. I am also seeing that others will let me down but I need to be okay with that and let others in. and I need to realize that God will never let me down. He may not always do what I want when I want and he can make my life hard but he always has a purpose and he will always be there to carry me through to the other side.
Find the deeper reason: "So that you may know him better." How might God use your journey toward healthy eating as a way to help you get to know Him better?
When you need to spend so much time trusting someone else. When you need to spend so much time in prayer and you need to take time to learn the truth about yourself and your situation God will become more real to you and each step I take in this journey he's right there helping me along. Just being so emerged in him and what he wants and needs from me is bringing me closer to him and into a better relationship with him. In just 10 short days I know him better and in another 10 I know I will be even closer.
Discover a hope and power like no other: "That the eyes of your heart might be enlightened." To what degree do you feel like everything depends on you - your willpower and determination? A little, a lot? To what degree do you believe that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is also available to help you? A little, a lot? As you reflect back on each day, how will you know whether you relied on your own strength or learned into God's strength?
This time I realize it doesn't depend on me much at all. Each other time it depended on me and my strength I totally failed. I have realized this time to only way to be completely successful in this endeavour is to be willing to admit my weakness and my total lack of control and give it to God. When I lean in on him, I know that he will be faithful, he is faithful and will help me succeed. I never knew that the power available to me was that strong, strong enough to raise Jesus from the dead. That is HUGE! I knew that I had power through God but my idea of his power given to me wasn't even close to this reality. I will know if I relied on God's strength when I am successful. I know I can't do it alone and I will keep reminding myself of my past failures, only to keep reminding myself of the power of God working through me. My Excuses - overruled I'm tired - OVERRULED! - Eating well and getting regular exercise will give you way more energy and then you won't be too tired to do other things you need to! I don't feel good - OVERRULED! - First off are you really sick? Okay you are then just get up and move around your house. get your 10,000 steps in, eat healthy. Do everything you are capable of that day, you won't regret it! It's not working fast enough - OVERRULED! - first off this isn't about the results physically but spiritually. and second if you're getting smaller it's working! what if you were gaining a pound a week would that be okay with you? I'm busy - OVERRULED! - you're not that busy! You need to make eating right and exercise a priority in your life. If you need to get up early. But you know when you want to do it you will find a way! People need me - OVERRULED! - Are those people going to die without you? If you're not taking care of yourself then you're not going to be very good for others. And really there's not 60 min in your day? Liar! It's the weekend/it's my weekend - OVERRULED! - PERFECT! you should have lots of time on your hands then! Go for a hike too! I just don't want to work out/eat well - OVERRULED! - Who cares? Not me. Get up and get moving you'll be glad you did. Eat well and tomorrow you'll be glad you did! Trust me on this one just do it!
I just want pizza, cookies etc. - OVERRULED! - that's crap and you know it. So either you find one of those things that you can fit in your plan or you pray because God's power is greater then pizza power. I'm too sore to work out - OVERRULED! - Go you'll feel better once you get there and get moving. Work as hard as you can, maybe you'll be a bit slower today, well would sitting on the couch for an hour have been better for you? My weigh in isn't for another week. This one time won't hurt - OVERRULED! - first this becomes a habit and then it's half way through the week and you're still off plan. second when you eat those things you're being disobedient to Christ who is calling you to obedience in this area!
Victories: 1. Stuck to my plan 2. Made it to the gym 3. Got in over 17,000 steps ( I aim for 10,000) 4. Have been spending lots of time in this study and reflecting on how it needs to change me.
Prayer: Lord, Wow! the truths that you have shown me today are amazing. Lord, the way you see me blows my mind. You don't see a fat insecure girl you see a lady who just needs you. Lord, I thank you that you are revealing so much to me and that you are utilizing this time so well! I thank you that you are showing me the truth in this journey. The truth about why I would eat and how I would justify it. The truth that you are bigger then all of that and in you I can be bigger then all of that too. Lord, I pray as I go into today, a busy day, that you would be reminding me of the things I learned today. That you would be making them real to me. Lord, give me your power to day to say no to temptation and yes to those things I need to do that are difficult for me. Lord, help me to be a light for you today. Lord, thank you that you are faithful and with you we will make it through today on track and a little stronger! Thank you God for your word and for the change you are doing to my heart, continue to change me. Amen
Daily verse: Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come. 2 corinthians 5:17
Here is a song that I find reminds me of who I really am in Christ. I don't need to be defined by my sin or past but rather by Jesus Christ! Because through him I am a new creation and no longer need to be my old self!
Chapter 4 reflection today... I'm going to be honest I really struggle with this chapter. The idea of being accountable and vulnerable with someone doe not excite me at all. But as my verse of the day yesterday says a two are better then one, if one falls down the other will pick him up. I need to have that support to pick me up and dust me off. Knowing that my sister is going to be running with me keeps me running. Knowing that my mom and sister are going to the gym with me or are at least going to the gym as often keeps me going. It keeps me moving knowing that anyone of them could ask me at anytime how I'm doing. And I'm going to get that for food too!
1. When a friend experiences success with healthy food choices and losing weight, do you feel encouraged and inspired by her example, or do you feel discouraged and envious? Part of me feels envious that they would have the drive and success that I want to have so bad but couldn't find. But 95% of me would be so proud of them that they were actually doing it. That they would change their lifestyles and get themselves healthy! Would it encourage me to move on in my journey. Yes, was it rally that push I needed to really succeed, no.
Do you communicate your feelings to your friend or keep them to yourself? Not usually, with a few people I would with most people I would keep my thoughts to myself. I think if I told someone else I was proud that they would give me a pep talk and I really didn't want one of those. My envious thoughts I wouldn't share with people. I knew they were wrong and wouldn't be beneficial to anyone!
2. Complete this sentance: I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because... I don't want to have a friend help me on my journey because people let me down and I have a hard time relying on others for support. I do want to have a friend help me on my journey because I'm excited to have someone to share my victories with and someone who will help me when I'm struggling.
3. If accountability is crucial, what is the biggest challenge you face in making accountability part of your eating plan? I am having a hard time finding someone who I would want as an accountability partner. I don't have many friends who are on a weight loss journey, or have been on one and I think that would be a benefit.
4.If you were to imagine a life-giving experience of accountability, one that empowers you and helps you feel companioned rather than alone in your struggles, how would you describe that experience? Someone who is encouraging, who checks in on me daily if I don't talk to them first. Someone who will call me out when they see my BS. Someone who will encourage me to remember this is about Christ not weight loss. Someone who will pray for me and with me. Someone who is on this journey with me. And who WANTS to be accountable.
What kind of person would you be accountable to? A strong person. Someone who will stand up to me and not just say, god job but someone who will say you sucked this week too!
What do you hope this person would do for you? They would help me by checking in on my eating and exercising while doing it themselves. They would pray for me and encourage me.
What do you hope they would not do? Forget to check in, give me too much compassion and too many it's okay's
How would you determine wether or not the relationship is providing effective accountability? Is this someone who is encouraging me to stick to my plan and to honour Christ in what i'm doing? Is this someone who I'm willing to be open and honest with?
Victories: 1. Got over my 14,000 steps in today. And I really didn't feel like walking today! 2. Stuck to my eating plan
Prayer: Lord, thank you that yesterday got a little easier. Thank you that you have started to open my eyes to the importance of an accountability partner! Thank you that you know who mine will be and you will make it clear to me in your timing. Lord, thank you that you are my accountability right now while I am seeking. Lord, thank you for giving me the strength to say no and to say yes when it's hard. Lord, today as I head to Nanaimo I pray that you would give me the strength to stick to the plan and to get a nice walk in. I pray that I would also remember my financial situation that I wouldn't be out buying things. Lord, I want to thank you again for mom, heather, krista and chelsea. Lord, you have given me a great support network, people who love me and want to see me do well in this venture. Lord, please give em the strength I need today and make yourself strong through my weakness. Thank you Lord that you are always there and that you will never fail me. Amen
Verse of the day: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:8 When I think of this verse in the context of having an accountability partner it really encourages me that having that person I can admit my failures to I can move on from them, I can be healed. I don't have to dwell on what I did but I can move on and make better choices. And then on the second part the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective! If we are praying for each other God will hear us and listen, they will be effective prayers if we are holding each other accountable.
We're onto Chapter 4 today Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Before Thinking. This chapter has been my least favourite and the one I don't look forward to implementing. I have huge issues with accountability. I don't like relying on other people. I know exactly where it stems from and I know I need to get over it and allow others to help me. Not everyone is going to let me down. As I was reading some of the reasons why I need an accountability partner have been coming out:
1. Because there are times my own determination won't be enough. There will be times when I need the support of that other person too.
2. Because God made us for community and I need to embrace that
3. Because the power of prayer will be multiplied.
I know I already have the support of my family. I have talked to my mom and my 2 closest sisters and they know what I'm doing and why and they are onboard to support me! My one sister has become my running partner and I'm thinking I might ask her to become my physical activity accountability partner. I live with my other sister and she is great! When she cooks for me she is great at making it healthy and asking me if I can have things or not. She is also getting much better at keeping her junk food at work or in her room :) And my mom is also on this journey with me! So when I am with her I don't feel tempted to eat more etc. These are the people I spend the majority of my time with so their support is invaluable.
As far as an accountability partner I am going to pray about who that might be. I'm not good at asking for help and I want to make sure this is the right person!
Victories: 1. Did not want to go for a walk yesterday, but I did anyways! 2. I was really tired yesterday and that's when I tend to overeat the most often. I wanted to sooo bad but I didn't! I made it through the day on plan! 3. I really didn't want to go to church tonight, I was so tired and would rather have been at home reading. But I know how important it is to go, Satan isn't impressed that I'm making strides forward in my spiritual walk and he will do what he can to derail me. Well it ended up being a huge blessing going! I was able to have some nice conversations with people I hadn't connected with in a while. And the sermon gave me some good things to think about. But over all it gave me a good solid start to my week.
Prayer: Lord, Thank you for helping me through yesterday. It was not an easy day and your strength was what carried me through. Thank you for continuing to be faithful. Lord, I pray for today that your strength would remain and that through your power it would be another on plan day! Thank you Lord that you have provided me with a job that allows me lots of time to focus on you and on my journey, but also provides well so I have the money to eat well and pay for a curves membership. Lord, I want to pray right now for an accountability partner. I'm not sure who to ask. Lord, I pray that you would show me who would be a good match. Lord, someone whom I can be honest with, someone who I can support. Lord, someone who will not just hold me accountable in food but also in relying on you. Someone who will hold me up in prayer and who will be there for the long haul. I thank you that you already know who this is and I pray that you would make that person clear to me. Lord, please give me your strength to make it through this day. Amen
Daily Bible Verse:
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! ... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
