I was thinking today about why I'm doing so poorly on my diet and why I want to lose weight and I realized something. I like me! I don't care if I lose any weight. I'm happy to be the person I am. I feel like I need to lose weight because I think that's what people expect from me. But I realized I don't care it's not about other people it's about me. Saying this I'm not saying that I don't have food issues and I want to work through these but not so that I'm smaller but because food and me aren't healthy. If I develop a healthier relationship with food I might lose weight but that's not my intention. So now my focus won't be on a number it will be on figuring out how me and food can get a healthy relationship. Not quite sure how that's going to happen but it will!
One thing I have discovered is that I love being able to excel in exercise and it's something that I want to keep up with and improve at but not to lose weight just because it's something I love. I really want to train for a half marathon. My goals for the near future are running a 5km in under 30 min at the end of June and a 10km in the early fall.