Friday, January 31, 2014

Made To Crave Day 13

Made to Crave Chapter 6 Growing Closer to God.

1. What is your response to the idea that we grow closer to God when we deny ourselves something that is permissible but not beneficial? Have you ever had an experience of denying yourself that helped you to grow closer to God? Do you believe this could be true for you in your battle with food?
As soon as I heard this statement I agreed with it. The one time I felt closest to God was when I spent 6 months in Guatemala. While there we had limited computer time, limited phone time and I didn't see my family for months. I decided myself things that were permissible but not beneficial and my spiritual life flourished because of that. I can already see and feel this being true for my food journey. I spend a lot more time in prayer and talking to God about life. The music I want to listen to is changing, I can see God in more situations... it's been amazing!

2. Are there areas of life in which you experience self-control and feel that your self-discipline and wise choices honour God? For example, in your spending decisions or how you manage your time? What insights about your strengths in those areas might help you to honour God and grow in self-control with your food choices?
I am an organized person, I like to have my house tidy and know what's going on daily in my life. I love organization, really... I'm not anal just like to be organized! I do think this honours God as it allows me to focus on other more important things.   

3. Have you ever had the experience of the Holy Spirit nudging you in connection with your food choices? If so, what was that like? If not, how do you hope the Holy Spirit might help you now?
Many times, it's usually just a nudge, a thought that slips into my head. Sometimes it tells me should you be eating that? is that right? That sort of thing. It's really wonderful knowing that those times I forget or I'm not strong enough God will remind me and help me say no.  

4. As Christians, our calling - and our source of spiritual nourishment - is to do God's will and finish His work (John 4:34). To what degree have consuming thoughts about food impacted your ability to pursue your calling and receive spiritual nourishment?

5. Would you say you are spiritually well fed, spiritually malnourished or somewhere in between? Have you ever tried to use food to satisfy your feelings of spiritual hunger? What was the result?
I would say I'm recovering from spiritual malnourishment. I've really allowed food to get between me and God. He would remind me that I needed to change so I turned my back on him. Then I just wanted him to fix my problem... didn't quite work that way but he worked it out and changed my heart. I used food to satisfy my soul for half my life that I can recall. The result, a horrible relationship with Christ and food. Disliking who I am physically and Spiritually dead.  

6. If we find certain foods impossible to walk away from, this is a clue that we are being ruled by food on some level. Are there foods you can't or won't deny yourself in order to make a healthier choice? why are these foods especially important to you? What thoughts and feelings arise when you think about potentially giving them up?
I have had to work through this over the past 2 weeks and I haven started to deny myself many of those things I couldn't say no to before. It's been very freeing being able to walk away from those things. To see them and not need them. 

Down 3lbs this week!
Still on plan even after a really tough thursday!

Verse of the day:
And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

Lord, I thank you that you brought me through yesterday. Lord, please give me that same grace today. Please keep reminding me that this is for a bigger cause then smaller pants. Lord, I thank you that you are always ready to teach me and that you are helping me to really understand. I pray Lord, that as I continue to sacrifice food I would continue to know you more. That you would become more real to me. Lord, help me to carry  the burdens you have allowed me and to grow into a stronger person in you because of them. Lord I pray as I go to mom and dad's for dinner that I would be able to resist the temptation of the things I shouldn't be eating and that I would stick to the correct amount of the things I should. Lord, please help me to be self controlled and relying on you. Lord, reveal yourself to me through this journey. Amen

Thursday, January 30, 2014


Isaiah 41:13 ESV

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Psalm 18:2 ESV

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

John 10:10 ESV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

It's Here...

I want to eat! I want to sit down with a huge bowl of popcorn and eat all of it myself! I'm soooo tired (I slept like 5 hours last night and 6 the night before) and in the past when I was tired I would eat. It's also thursday which is generally my binge day. Not today! I will stay in plan and I will concur today.  Lord, I need you I don't have the power to get through this alone. Carry me!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014


MY SHIRT FITS!!!!!!!! 
I've had this shirt for a while and I've worn it but it was definitely too tight. Today I slipped it on and it fits perfectly now!!!

Made To Crave Day 11

Chapter 5 - Made For More.

1. "I was made for more" is a spiritual truth that unlocks great power for Christians. When you think of your past failures and your current struggles with food, how do you hope this truth might help you?
There are times when I think that getting healthy is hopeless. Every time I lose weight I gain it back. Every time I work out I eventually give up and stop going. There are times I think is this really worth it? all this work, all this pain, is it really worth it? But knowing that God made me for more then my struggle with weight. God made me for more then to consume food. God made me for more then being stuck in sin. God made to serve him and to do it with everything I have. Not just the small part I have left after food destroys me. 

2. When you introduce yourself to someone you don't know, how do you define yourself? What might your introduction reveal about how you understand your own identity?
My family is huge to me. I love them to bits and they often come up when I'm introducing myself. My job always seems to take a long chunk of the get to know you strange as well, Part of that could be it's a job not many people have heard of so it takes some explaining. But lets be honest here I don't really introduce myself to many people who I don't know. I'm very worried about being rejected and so I'd rather just not try, it's much easier. This reveals to me that I don't see my worth in Christ. I see it in my family, I can see it in my job. I know in both of those things I am accepted and loved. But in me being me. In me being a child of God I fear rejection from others, even in the church. I fear that they will judge me on my weight, my sarcastic and slightly awkward ways and that they won't get to know me. Because of this I shy away from meeting new people. 

3. Have you ever felt like your identity was defines by your circumstances? If you were to describe your identity as Lysa did, what would be on your list? (Lysa, the broken girl girl from a broken home)
Andrea, the fat girl.
Andrea, the loud girl. 
Andrea, the one with the huge family.
Andrea, the home schooled girl.
Andrea, the girl who has been forced to grow up early.
Andrea, the good child.

4. How does this understanding of how God sees you impact the circumstance based view of your identity you listed in response to question 3?
God sees me a his child, he doesn't see me as the one who's been hurt or judged or who tried to fill the role her parents wanted. Rather he sees me as a confident, victorious. accepted... child. Knowing this, seeing this makes me think, I don't need to fear what others will think of me because I should find my identity in Christ. In him I am made who I am meant to. I don't need to let my past or my present define me I need to let him define me. 

Andrea, the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24)
Andrea, the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2)
Andrea, the accepted child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:2
Andrea, the holy child of God. (1 corinthians 1:30)
Andrea, the made-new child of God. ( 2 Corinthians 5:17)
Andrea, the loved child of God (Ephisians 1:4)
Andrea, the close child of God. (Ephesians 1:4)
Andrea, the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12)
Andrea, the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37

5. Read Ephesians 1:17-20 and then reflect on the following questions:

  • Be persistent: "I keep asking." Do you have any reservations about asking God for wisdom and power each day to help you on this journey? How do you hope persistent prayer might help you?
This has been my prayer since day 1 of MTC that God would give me power, that he would guide me and show me the truth. This prayer has been answered every day! God has been so faithful and each day he is giving me all I need to be taking steps forward and for resisting the temptation to be lazy or the temptation to eat off plan. It's one of the big things I know I need to carry away from MTC, come to God and ask him for your power, wisdom, direction etc and he will guide you.  
  • Embrace a true identity: "Glorious Father." With what untruths about your identity have you struggled? How might your life change if you could embrace the truth of your identity as a child of God?
That I'm not as important as others, or God. I am only good to have around when I'm being useful and helpful.  That I'm not worth being loved for me but only for my actions. That everyone else is not dependable, I'm the only one I can trust. I think that last one could even go as far as for many years I thought God wasn't trustworthy. I couldn't depend on him. I would know I'm important because I am me. Not because of what I do but just because of who I am. I am also seeing that others will let me down but I need to be okay with that and let others in. and I need to realize that God will never let me down. He may not always do what I want when I want and he can make my life hard but he always has a purpose and he will always be there to carry me through to the other side.  
  • Find the deeper reason: "So that you may know him better." How might God use your journey toward healthy eating as a way to help you get to know Him better?
When you need to spend so much time trusting someone else. When you need to spend so much time in prayer and you need to take time to learn the truth about yourself and your situation God will become more real to you and each step I take in this journey he's right there helping me along. Just being so emerged in him and what he wants and needs from me is bringing me closer to him and into a better relationship with him. In just 10 short days I know him better and in another 10 I know I will be even closer.  
  • Discover a hope and power like no other: "That the eyes of your heart might be enlightened." To what degree do you feel like everything depends on you - your willpower and determination? A little, a lot? To what degree do you believe that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is also available to help you? A little, a lot? As you reflect back on each day, how will you know whether you relied on your own strength or learned into God's strength?    
This time I realize it doesn't depend on me much at all. Each other time it depended on me and my strength I totally failed. I have realized this time to only way to be completely successful in this endeavour is to be willing to admit my weakness and my total lack of control and give it to God. When I lean in on him, I know that he will be faithful, he is faithful and will help me succeed. I never knew that the power available to me was that strong, strong enough to raise Jesus from the dead. That is HUGE! I knew that I had power through God but my idea of his power given to me wasn't even close to this reality. I will know if I relied on God's strength when I am successful. I know I can't do it alone and I will keep reminding myself of my past failures, only to keep reminding myself of the power of God working through me.  

My Excuses - overruled
I'm tired - OVERRULED! - Eating well and getting regular exercise will give you way more energy and then you won't be too tired to do other things you need to!
I don't feel good - OVERRULED! - First off are you really sick? Okay you are then just get up and move around your house. get your 10,000 steps in, eat healthy. Do everything you are capable of that day, you won't regret it!
It's not working fast enough - OVERRULED! - first off this isn't about the results physically but spiritually. and second if you're getting smaller it's working! what if you were gaining a pound a week would that be okay with you?
I'm busy - OVERRULED! - you're not that busy! You need to make eating right and exercise a priority in your life. If you need to get up early. But you know when you want to do it you will find a way!  
People need me - OVERRULED! - Are those people going to die without you? If you're not taking care of yourself then you're not going to be very good for others. And really there's not 60 min in your day? Liar!
It's the weekend/it's my weekend  - OVERRULED! - PERFECT! you should have lots of time on your hands then! Go for a hike too!
I just don't want to work out/eat well - OVERRULED! - Who cares? Not me. Get up and get moving you'll be glad you did. Eat well and tomorrow you'll be glad you did! Trust me on this one just do it!
I just want pizza, cookies etc.  - OVERRULED! - that's crap and you know it. So either you find one of those things that you can fit in your plan or you pray because God's power is greater then pizza power.
I'm too sore to work out  - OVERRULED! -  Go you'll feel better once you get there and get moving. Work as hard as you can, maybe you'll be a bit slower today, well would sitting on the couch for an hour have been better for you?
My weigh in isn't for another week. This one time won't hurt  - OVERRULED! - first this becomes a habit and then it's half way through the week and you're still off plan. second when you eat those things you're being disobedient to Christ who is calling you to obedience in this area!

1. Stuck to my plan
2. Made it to the gym
3. Got in over 17,000 steps ( I aim for 10,000)
4. Have been spending lots of time in this study and reflecting on how it needs to change me.

Lord, Wow! the truths that you have shown me today are amazing. Lord, the way you see me blows my mind. You don't see a fat insecure girl you see a lady who just needs you. Lord, I thank you that you are revealing so much to me and that you are utilizing this time so well! I thank you that you are showing me the truth in this journey. The truth about why I would eat and how I would justify it. The truth that you are bigger then all of that and in you I can be bigger then all of that too. Lord, I pray as I go into today, a busy day, that you would be reminding me of the things I learned today. That you would be making them real to me. Lord, give me your power to day to say no to temptation and yes to those things I need to do that are difficult for me. Lord, help me to be a light for you today. Lord, thank you that you are faithful and with you we will make it through today on track and a little stronger! Thank you God for your word and for the change you are doing to my heart, continue to change me. Amen

Daily verse: Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come. 2 corinthians 5:17

Here is a song that I find reminds me of who I really am in Christ. I don't need to be defined by my sin or past but rather by Jesus Christ! Because through him I am a new creation and no longer need to be my old self!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Made To Crave Day 10

Chapter 4 reflection today... I'm going to be honest I really struggle with this chapter. The idea of being accountable and vulnerable with someone doe not excite me at all. But as my verse of the day yesterday says a two are better then one, if one falls down the other will pick him up. I need to have that support to pick me up and dust me off. Knowing that my sister is going to be running with me keeps me running. Knowing that my mom and sister are going to the gym with me or are at least going to the gym as often keeps me going. It keeps me moving knowing that anyone of them could ask me at anytime how I'm doing. And I'm going to get that for food too!  

1. When a friend experiences success with healthy food choices and losing weight, do you feel encouraged and inspired by her example, or do you feel discouraged and envious?
Part of me feels envious that they would have the drive and success that I want to have so bad but couldn't find. But 95% of me would be so proud of them that they were actually doing it. That they would change their lifestyles and get themselves healthy! Would it encourage me to move on in my journey. Yes, was it rally that push I needed to really succeed, no.

Do you communicate your feelings to your friend or keep them to yourself?
Not usually, with a few people I would with most people I would keep my thoughts to myself. I think if I told someone else I was proud that they would give me a pep talk and I really didn't want one of those. My envious thoughts I wouldn't share with people. I knew they were wrong and wouldn't be beneficial to anyone!   

2. Complete this sentance: I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because...
I don't want to have a friend help me on my journey because people let me  down and I have a hard time relying on others for support. 
I do want to have a friend help me on my journey because I'm excited to have someone to share my victories with and someone who will help me when I'm struggling. 

3. If accountability is crucial, what is the biggest challenge you face in making accountability part of your eating plan?
I am having a hard time finding someone who I would want as an accountability partner. I don't have many friends who are on a weight loss journey, or have been on one and I think that would be a benefit. 

4.If you were to imagine a life-giving experience of accountability, one that empowers you and helps you feel companioned rather than alone in your struggles, how would you describe that experience?
Someone who is encouraging, who checks in on me daily if I don't talk to them first. Someone who will call me out when they see my BS. Someone who will encourage me to remember this is about Christ not weight loss. Someone who will pray for me and with me. Someone who is on this journey with me. And who WANTS to be accountable.
What kind of person would you be accountable to?
A strong person. Someone who will stand up to me and not just say, god job but someone who will say you sucked this week too!
What do you hope this person would do for you?
They would help me by checking in on my eating and exercising while doing it themselves. They would pray for me and encourage me.
What do you hope they would not do?
Forget to check in, give me too much compassion and too many it's okay's 
How would you determine wether or not the relationship is providing effective accountability?
Is this someone who is encouraging me to stick to my plan and to honour Christ in what i'm doing? Is this someone who I'm willing to be open and honest with?

1. Got over my 14,000 steps in today. And I really didn't feel like walking today!
2. Stuck to my eating plan   

Lord, thank you that yesterday got a little easier. Thank you that you have started to open my eyes to the importance of an accountability partner! Thank you that you know who mine will be and you will make it clear to me in your timing. Lord, thank you that you are my accountability right now while I am seeking. Lord, thank you for giving me the strength to say no and to say yes when it's hard. Lord, today as I head to Nanaimo I pray that you would give me the strength to stick to the plan and to get a nice walk in. I pray that I would also remember my financial situation that I wouldn't be out buying things. Lord, I want to thank you again for mom, heather, krista and chelsea. Lord, you have given me a great support network, people who love me and want to see me do well in this venture. Lord, please give em the strength I need today and make yourself strong through my weakness. Thank you Lord that you are always there and that you will never fail me. Amen 

Verse of the day:
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:8

When I think of this verse in the context of having an accountability partner it really encourages me that having that person I can admit my failures to I can move on from them, I can be healed. I don't have to dwell on what I did but I can move on and make better choices. And then on the second part the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective! If we are praying for each other God will hear us and listen, they will be effective prayers if we are holding each other accountable. 

Monday, January 27, 2014

Made To Crave Day 9

We're onto Chapter 4 today Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Before Thinking. This chapter has been my least favourite and the one I don't look forward to implementing. I have huge issues with accountability. I don't like relying on other people. I know exactly where it stems from and I know I need to get over it and allow others to help me. Not everyone is going to let me down. As I was reading some of the reasons why I need an accountability partner have been coming out:
1. Because there are times my own determination won't be enough. There will be times when I need the support of that other person too.
2. Because God made us for community and I need to embrace that
3. Because the power of prayer will be multiplied.
I know I already have the support of my family. I have talked to my mom and my 2 closest sisters and they know what I'm doing and why and they are onboard to support me! My one sister has become my running partner and I'm thinking I might ask her to become my physical activity accountability partner. I live with my other sister and she is great! When she cooks for me she is great at making it healthy and asking me if I can have things or not. She is also getting much better at keeping her junk food at work or in her room :) And my mom is also on this journey with me! So when I am with her I don't feel tempted to eat more etc. These are the people I spend the majority of my time with so their support is invaluable.
As far as an accountability partner I am going to pray about who that might be. I'm not good at asking for help and I want to make sure this is the right person!

1. Did not want to go for a walk yesterday, but  I did anyways!
2. I was really tired yesterday and that's when I tend to overeat the most often. I wanted to sooo bad but I didn't! I made it through the day on plan!
3. I really didn't want to go to church tonight, I was so tired and would rather have been at home reading. But I know how important it is to go, Satan isn't impressed that I'm making strides forward in my spiritual walk and he will do what he can to derail me. Well it ended up being a huge blessing going! I was able to have some nice conversations with people I hadn't connected with in a while. And the sermon gave me some good things to think about. But over all it gave me a good solid start to my week.

Prayer: Lord, Thank you for helping me through yesterday. It was not an easy day and your strength was what carried me through. Thank you for continuing to be faithful. Lord, I pray for today that your strength would remain and that through your power it would be another on plan day! Thank you Lord that you have provided me with a job that allows me lots of time to focus on you and on my journey, but also provides well so I have the money to eat well and pay for a curves membership. Lord, I want to pray right now for an accountability partner. I'm not sure who to ask. Lord, I pray that you would show me who would be a good match. Lord, someone whom I can be honest with, someone who I can support. Lord, someone who will not just hold me accountable in food but also in relying on you. Someone who will hold me up in prayer and who will be there for the long haul. I thank you that you already know who this is and I pray that you would make that person clear to me. Lord, please give me your strength to make it through this day. Amen 

Daily Bible Verse:
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! ... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.12 

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Weakness Made Stong

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."... For when I am weak then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 

Wow! Christ's power is made PERFECT in my weakness! and it's only when I am weak that I can be truly strong because that's when Christ's strength needs to step in and take over. Lord, you are so faithful. This verse is going to be key this weak as temptation seems too hard to bare I can lean into Christ and his power will be all I need!

Made To Crave Day 8

Wow it's already week 2... time to look at this coming week and set some goals

My Word: Determination 

My Verse: 1 Peter 5:7-8a, Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. 

My Goals: 
1. read at least 1 food related Bible verse each day. I want to understand Gods view of food a little better.
2. Walk up the knoll.
3. Stick to my curves plan

My Action Steps:
1. each morning as I'm doing my made to crave add a section to my blog for this verse and what I gleaned from it.
2. Make a date. Pick a time and go, with others or alone!
3. a.Work out, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday at curves. 
b. Walk at least an extra 1 hour each day. 
c. Run Monday, Wednesday and Friday. 
d. Think about tough situations ahead of time and work through what I'm going to do. 
e. Make sure that I have food ready to eat that is on target.
f. Meet with Coach
4. PRAY! Keep doing made to crave!  

My Thoughts: This week is going to be the hardest one there is. The honeymoon has worn off and I'm wanting to go back to my old habits. I'm going to be a little more sore and I'm going to want to take it a little easier on myself. NOT HAPPENING! God is going to be my rock this week and we're going to get through this week as tough as it will be. Prayer will become more important. Starting my day with this study and reading God's word will be key to keeping my mind focused on the greater picture. I know with God this is totally doable! I also know when we make it through the week it's going to get a little easier.
My Victories: 
1. Last night I brought 2 of my DS brothers and one of the little boys I work with out for supper. This is a group who would not tattle on me :) I could have eaten anything and have gotten away with it. But rather then my favourite there, a burger, deep fried zucchini sticks, caesar salad and fires, I got one of their lifestyle menu items. Before we went I looked up the nutrition and menu on line and I picked 2 options. When we got to the restaurant I knew those were the 2 things I could pick from and I did. Let me tell you it was delicious and it was so much I had enough to bring home to eat today for lunch!
2. I also went for a 1 1/2 hour walk yesterday pushing a double stroller with two 40lb children in it! I felt it everywhere but it felt great to walk through my door knowing I went and I didn't give up!   

My Prayers: Lord, I know this week is going to be tough, week 2 always is! Week 1 I'm on the I'm a superstar high but by week 2 I just want to eat that _________ and I don't think that being thin is worth going without ______ forever, blah, blah, blah. I know it all too well. But this time Lord, I have the most important tool in my belt. You! You are the key to my success you are the reason that I will be able to make it through. You are my rock and my fortress when food is chasing me down! Lord, this week continue to teach me about myself. Continue to show me you and your path for me. Lord, stay front and centre of my days. Help me to continue to understand that the reason I will be successful is not because I'm awesome but because you're awesome and that you are changing my heart and reshaping me spiritually. Thank you Lord, that you are here with me and that you are never going to forsake me. You're in it for the long haul! Lord thank you for such an amazing first week. Thank you for helping me to see what I was really made for and that you are the key to my life. And that the only reason this weightless matters is because food has been my comfort, my joy, my desire, my refugure. Lord, food needs to take it's place as fuel and you need to take your place as Lord. Amen

Made To Crave Day 7


Wow I can't believe that we're already one week into Made to Crave. I am loving it! I'm finding it so helpful! Today we're supposed to reflect on our victories and spend some time in prayer. I am so blessed, today, to say I have more victories then I could have ever expected! God is so faithful!

1. There has not been one cheat from my diet since I started

2. I have spent time exercising everyday since I started, which fits with my plan

3. God has felt closer to me this week then he has in forever

4. I've started training to run and even went at 5:30am by myself just so I could get it in.

This week I have felt very empowered! I didn't know what to expect going into this study but then I decided that I would just go for it. I wasn't going to be reserved I was going to be 100% honest with God and I was going to get everything I could out of this study. I never would have thought that I would have gotten so much out of it and I'm only on week one. I feel like I finally found the missing piece to my weight loss. I understood how to eat, I've been regularly exercising, I've been meeting with a weight loss coach, I had a plan. With all of this I was still lacking the want to or the ability to say no to my cravings. God definitely brought this Bible study around just at the right time.

Prayer: Lord I thank you for a successful week, in so many ways. I thank you that you reminded me when I didn't put you first. When the diet or exercise become more important then you you clearly showed me. I thank you for bringing the made to crave online study at the right time. I thank you that you have given me a body that can exercise and that thrives off of it. I thank you that you have given me a job that leaves lots of time for me to spend on this study, eating well and exercising. I thank you Lord for you not giving up on me as you saw me worshipping food. I thank you that you knew what would need to come together for my heart to change and you waited for that. I thank you Lord, that you have show me that I'm done justifying I'm done justifying eating junk, I'm done justifying not exercising I'm done justifying not spending time with you. I'm realizing that if I'm going through that much work to convince myself and others it's not okay. I thank you Lord, that you have taught me this at a young age so I can spend the next 60 years of my life serving you more effectively. I thank you Lord, for the challenges that will arise this week. I know that you give these to help me grow into a stronger person and I know I won't be battling these alone. Lord, Thank you for giving me the power to get through  

Friday, January 24, 2014

Those Punks, You'll Never Believe What They Did!

So I was in the drive through at Tim Hortons, No I wasn't getting anything for myself. In front of me was this low, very low, like so low it took the like 10 min to turn into the parking lot from the road cuz they didn't want to bottom out kind of car. Then as we're sitting in the drive thru, forever, they roll down their windows and are smoking out of them... really? What if I wanted my windows rolled down. Do they not think of other people? Just the way they drove and were acting, punks!  I'm not going to lie by this time I was a little pissed at them.I ordered my doughnuts and drove forward to pick them up. When I got to the window the guy told me they were free, the punk in the car in front of me paid. Man did i feel like a jerk! Here I was judging them for seriously dumb things and they paid for my doughnuts. God's really been teaching me some lessons today and they are coming in loud and clear.

Made To Crave Day 6

Chapter 3 Getting a Plan

So clearly this chapter is about getting a plan :) It compares weight loss to gardening, if you don't weed, water, plant, prune etc you won't get a beautiful garden. If I sit on the couch wanting to lose weight it's not going to happen. I need to do something about it.

Reflection Questions:
1. What thoughts, images, or emotions do you associate with the word plan? Are you the kind of person who says, "I love it when a plan comes together!" Or are you more likely to say, "Plan schman, can't we all just go with the flow?" I fall in the middle somewhere some days I like plans and I like to know what I'm doing or what is expected of me. However I'm not a live or die by the plan type of person so there have been many times when I make a plan and then change it because the new one felt better. I do like some planning to be done but I can still go with the flow.

2. Are there areas of your life in which having a plan works well for you? In these areas of your life, does having a plan feel empowering or restrictive? Do your feelings change when the plan is about food, what you will eat and not eat? Day to day I like to have some sort of a plan so i know what I need to get done and how I'm going to get it all in. I also like to make plans for weight loss and that sort of things. I need to have a basic plan for vacation too. However in some areas of my life I make plans but don't stick to them.Having a plan empowers me. I'm the first person to throw the plan away if something else comes up. SO I think what it comes down to is I like to plan and be organized(ish) but that I'm okay with change and can usually adapt. With food plans I really did need help to understand how to eat healthy and how that I know what I'm doing I'm not too big on planning. I know what foods are good for me and try to keep an ampul supply of those foods and keep the bad ones away. This helps me to be somewhat organized but then I can eat what I want in that time!  

3. What is the relationship between food and secrets? What secrets do you think your body reveals?
I'm a really bad secret eater. I will eat well around others, or pretend like the pizza etc. I'm having is a rare occurrence and that usually I eat really well. Clearly my body shows otherwise I'm 220.75lbs if ate half as well as I pretend I would be a few sizes smaller. 

I'm not answering questions 4 and 5 because they are about what I want in a plan, what kind of plan I can stick to etc. I already go to Curves and do Curves Complete and am finding it perfect for me! I love the flexibility in what you can eat within reason. I love meeting with my coach for my weekly meetings. I really do enjoy the work out there and I love the fact that it's 30 min beginning to end. It just seems to be a good, sustainable plan for me.

Lord I'm not going to lie today I'm really frusterated. I got up over an hour early so that I could go for a run and to the gym before I have to be at work. What do I get to do instead? sit in front of a closed gym for 20 min waiting for it to open because the staff didn't show up. Lord, this frustrates me so much! I try to stay on plan and get all my work outs in before work starts for the weekend and I can't. Lord, you know why the staff wasn't there and it did mean I get to spend more time with you before work starts. So I do thank you for that, thank you that I can get my heart focused on you. Lord, I pray that this set back wouldn't set me back but rather it would teach me to fight back. When something doesn't work out not to sit down and whine but to realize that if plan A doesn't work then to figure out a plan B. Lord, I want to pray for my day and for my weekend. As I get busy working I pray that you would remind me when it's time to eat and that I would stick to my plan even when I'm tired and stressed. Lord, I pray that I would make time to get exercise in and that time with you would still be a priority. Lord I thank you that you are wiling to give me trials, you are willing to throw little glitches into my life and diet. I thank you for this because they are going to help with the big glitches that could happen later on. I'm sorry Lord, that my workout was going to replace my time with you and that it made me so mad when I realized that you might be stopping me from working out. I pray Lord, that I would understand what it means to be well balanced. Amen

I made it through thursday without a binge. I stuck to my plan on weight in day!!!! 
I lost 3lb's these past 2 weeks! and 7.75" in the past 6 weeks!
Even though the gym didn't work out I was out running just after 5:30am (I never get up before 7)

Thursday, January 23, 2014

I Have The Right To Do Anything!

"I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.
1 Corinthians 10:23
I'm going on vacation in 2 week... Disneyland here I come!!!!... and this is something I've been putting a lot of thought into. Part of me thinks I'm on vacation do I really need to diet and keep working out? Really I'm at disneyland, I'm going to be walking around and it's going to be a lot of work to stick to my diet. Then I started thinking about this verse and realized that I can go on vacation and eat what I want and not do my work out and it's not going to kill anyone. But is it what is going to be most beneficial for me? or would my body benefit more from eating well and keeping up with my work outs? I'm sure you have figured out that I am have already made my decision, I am going to stick to my diet and exercise plan. One of our first stops will be at a grocery store to stock up on lean protein, veggies, fruit etc. I'm going to pack meals and snacks to the park and I'm going to order well when I do eat out. On top of that I am going to be going to curves 3 times a week while I'm there and running 3 times a week as well (not going to lie I'm pretty excited to go running on the board walk at the beach). I can't wait to get back from vacation weight in and have the scale go down! 

Month 1 Results!

Just had my 1 month measurements and weigh in... it's actually been 6 weeks but due to being sick adn Christmas it took a little longer to get my measurements. Ready????
Weight  -7.25 lb.
Body fat %  -1.6%
BMI  -1.2
Bust  -4"
Waist  -2.5"
Abdomen  -1"
Hips  -.75"
Thigh  Stayed the same
Arm  +.25" (my muscules are just getting bigger)
Total inches  -7.75"
I'm very happy with this! Can't wait until my next measurements!

PS. Just need a quick brag this was over Christmas!

Made To Crave Day 5

Chapter 2 Replacing My Cravings personal reflection questions:

1. When it comes to your relationship with food, what repeated behaviours or events describe the cycle you experience and feel powerless to stop? I will do great seating right and exercising for a week and then I just bomb! I crave whatever and I eat whatever I crave...which is usually a ton of food. Then the next week I am up again or won't go to weigh in because I'm mad at myself. This makes it really hard to lose weight. Then when I finally get down 20ish lbs I'll think, I can do this on my own, and then I stop going to my meetings and weigh ins and i gain back all the lbs plus some. 

2. What reasons give your desire to eat healthier? Do these reasons give your struggles with food a purpose strong enough to help you resist unhealthy eating? How do you respond to the statement "I had to see the purpose of my struggle as something more than wearing smaller sizes and getting compliments from others.... It had to be about something more than just me"? I want to be able to do things and not have my weight or lack of fitness stopping me. I want to be able to go to any normal store and fit the clothes, I don't want to feel self conscious, I want to be healthy. No, they don't have a strong enough pull on me to keep me away from food. Over the past 6 months I have seen the amazing power that food has over me. It is terrible, that is one reason I've decided to do this study, not to be a size 6, but to be able to live without that need for food.  I knew food was bigger then God to me but I felt helpless to do something about it until now. I feel like these are the tools I need and the motivation I need to stop foods control. So my big strong motivation? That food would have a healthy place in my life and God would reign once again. 

3. Consider your eating experiences over the last few days or week. Using the list below can you recall specific situations in which you turned to food for these reasons?
  • Comfort
I was sick last thursday-saturday, just a bad cold, but man was i feeling bad. Because it was a cold I still felt hungry but healthy food was not going to give me the comfort I wanted. So empty carbs it was. 
  • Reward
I don't know that I've experienced eating for reward THIS week. However I know this is something I do on quite a regular basis. My biggest one is that when I do well losing weight one week I reward myself by allowing myself to eat whatever that day... how does that make any sense? eat away my weight loss to reward myself. 
  • Joy
I associate eating with joy. Growing up and still to this day my family has family celebrations for any holiday and they are fun! I have always associated eating with those times and so when I'm celebrating or joyful/excited about something I feel I need to eat as a way to commemorate that time. 
  • Stress
I do respite for a living and this past weekend... while sick... I made home-made cheese buns. Lets just say when the going got tough the cheese buns "fixed" it for me. 
  • Sadness
You know I wouldn't say I'm a sad person in general so I don't know that eating because I'm sad is something I deal with often. However I am an emotional eater so I'm sure that food would "fix" me when I'm sad too. 
  • Happiness
This might be the one time I don't turn to food right way. I do over eat when I'm with friends, family, celebrating, out for dinner etc. However if I was home alone and found out something that made me happy I would turn to other things before food for sure. 

Keeping the same situations in mind, how do you imagine your experiences might have been different if you had relied on God, craved God, instead of turning to food?
Alright so I guess I'm looking at the comfort and the stress. Yes, it would have been different, would it have been perfect I can't tell you but I know that if I had relied on God to help me through those cravings he wouldn't have let me down. I can think of at least one incident a day since starting made to crave where the "old me" would have eaten extra, binged etc. but instead I said a prayer and was given that power to walk on!

4. How do you respond to the idea of using your cravings as a prompt to pray? How has prayer helped or failed to your previous food battles?
This is the best tool I have gotten so far! It has worked wonders! A) if I ask God to give me the strength I need to walk away, throw something out, just not touch. I need to rely that he will deliver. B) I know if I pray then go and eat a,b and c then I'm sinning and I'm going against what god has asked of me. 
Previously I've never really used prayer consistently so I can't really say it's done much. 

5.  In your battles with food, are you more likely to choose a drastic, quick-fix approach or a moderate but longer-term approach? What thoughts or feelings emerge when you consider dismantling your own tower of impossibility one craving at a time? I am more likely to pick the moderate long term approach but I want to drastic results. I feel so excited to know that with God helping me I have to power to say no to food, no to my cravings and use that as a way to glorify God. Every time I'm saying no, every prayer of help or thankful ness I'm sending up, I'm one step, one brick, closer to God regaining reign in me. 

Lord, the work you are already doing in me is amazing! it's phenomenal how when one of your children decides yes I'm ready, here I am Lord, shape me, you don't say no. You are here shaping me, giving me the power I need over food. I thank you Lord, that you are empowering me in a way I have never felt before. I are giving me the drive I need to go to the gym, to get out running, to want to spend time walking. Lord, my craving for food is still there but you have helped keep it manageable. And I thank you for that. Lord, I pray as I go on today that you would continue to give me the strength I need to stick to the plan. That no matter what # the scale gives me I'll be able to see your glory and power and the great changes you have made it me through that. I pray that I will continue to remain strong that my usual Thursday binge will be a thing of the past and that your power and your might will over come that and that it won't even be a temptation. I thank you Lord, that you are helping me to understand the woman I am and see deeper into my issues. Lord, the fact that I can dissect some of my issues is a huge blessing and being able to do so I believe is one tool that will help me to be successful in the long run. Lord, your faithfulness just blows my mind. Thank you for not giving up on me and for shaping me in to the Woman of God you want me to be. Amen

I helped out at a lunch at my church yesterday. I knew that the food that they were going to be serving wasn't food that would fit into my meal plan so I packed a lunch! Then I spent a quick minute praying  before I left asking God to give me the power to say no to all the other food. I did it! I made it through without eating even one of those yummy looking chocolate cookies.  

Went for my second run today. It was a bit harder then the first but totally doable! 

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Made To Crave Day 4

Today I was back to reading the book, chapter 2 Replacing My Cravings. Because I have already read this book There are things that I had picked up previously that carried into this session. One of those things, the key to this chapter, is prayer. When I am tempted to go off plan pray, when I screw up pray even it it means praying until there is no energy left in you do it! This chapter also covered the fact that the author loved food more then God. I know some people struggle and deny when they hear this statement, not me, I've known it to be true for a while. I was just struggling on how to get from that to God first. I tried many different things , devos, church, missions etc. but Lisa suggests that I do one thing, Pray! When I'm tempted to put food in my mouth that isn't within my plan I am to pray and resist temptation. Over time God will win that battle for me and as I replace my cravings with him he will regain his spot as Lord of my life.
Lisa also made a good point that when we're not following God and instead we're relying on something else for our strength, comfort, joy etc. we're not going to be where God wants us to be. We're going to be missing out on things, one of those things being an abundant life!  Alright so more prayer and fervent prayer when it's needed!

Went out for lunch with mom and got a healthy salad. When I got full I packed up the rest to come home!

Prayer: Lord, I thank you that you're always here you're always there for me. You're never far away and you want to help me through this. You don't want me to be a glutton, you don't want me to rely on food you want me to have you as my rock not chocolate. I thank you Lord, that you are right there helping me out. That when I want to keep eating that popcorn or I want an extra snack etc. you are there ready to carry me through it. I know it's still going to get harder before it gets easier but I thank you that you are willing to spend the time you need to in order for me to be successful in putting you back as Lord of my life. I pray as I go to the church today that you will be with me. As I see those chocolate cookies, or want to try just a bit of what we're serving for lunch help me to remember this is so much bigger then a smaller pant size. This is about me getting right with you. This is about me taking food and Satan off the throne in my heart and replacing them with you. Lord, give me the strength to do this because I can tell you my strength is not enough to make it out of there unscathed. Lord, I also know that I'm a little over tired today I pray that even though my resolve will be weakened and my cravings will be stronger that you carry me through that, that your power will cover my resolve so that is is unbreakable. Thank you Lord, that you want this just as much as I do, if not more. You want me to be right with you, you long to be #1 in my life and thank you that together we will get there. Amen

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Made To Crave Day 3

Yesterday I read chapter 1 of Made to Crave. Today I'm going to be taking time to reflect more on that chapter by answering the questions at the end of the chapter.

1. One weight loss company personifies cravings as a little orange monster that chases us around, tempting us to eat unhealthy foods. Take a moment to reflect on your own experience of craving, recently and over time.
  • If you could personify your cravings based on your experience of it what form might it take? 
Not a little orange fuzzy monster that's for sure. Maybe a grizzly bear, or a scysophrinic with a gun and a knife! When I crave there is not much that can stop me from eating what I want and if it's not there I go a little crazy! It's way out of control for sure!
  • If you could sit down and have a conversation with this imaginary craving, what do you think it would say? What questions would you ask it? and how would it respond?
That it's been the one there for me over the past 13 years, that it always knows what I need to feel better. That it isn't going down without a dang good fight and that it's not worried since it's always won in the past. How did it get so powerful and out of control? How did it get to the point where even when i say no 5 min latter I find that item in my mouth, sometimes without even realizing it? You needed a friend and I was the one there for you! I made you happy when others couldn't. You've picked me over God time and time again and each time I grow stronger! You always know I'm going to win so I never give up!
2. How do you respond to the idea that God made us to crave? Have you ever pursued a craving - a longing, passion or desire - hat made a positive contribution to your life? What do you think distinguishes that kind of craving from the craving that leads you to eat in unhealthy ways?

When I first read this book I thought God had made a sick joke. He made me to want things, anything this much! But this time as I was reading it I was thinking , what if I was able to channel that craving I have for food and replace food with God? Nothing could stop me from worshiping him, serving him, spending time with him, learning about him, NOTHING! And thinking about craving that ways i say, "Praise God!" If my craving was used to be close to God and glorify him then I could say it is one of the biggest blessings I have received. 

I don't know that I've ever followed another craving even close to how I have with food. But the closest I can come to that is my "craving" for my family. I love my family and spend a ton of time with them. I have adopted siblings with special needs and so my family really works together to support my parents so that they can serve in the way God has asked them to. I love my family to bits! I enjoy spending time with them, talking to and about them, serving them. Even a trip to Costco with one of them makes my day. I do believe that this "craving" is beneficial in my life. However I know that if any craving or desire in my life becomes more important than Christ I need to work that out with him.

What distinguishes the two? Well first of all when i give into food cravings I'm not satisfied, I still want more! I feel empty, guilty, like a failure. but when I spend time serving my family I feel like my life has a purpose, like i'm doing something important and making a difference in the world. I feel like when I am with them I'm able to bless others. So to sum it up I would say eating is selfish, empty and causes more problems then it helps with. Family is giving, loving and is doing something bigger then me. HoweverI can say that there are times family is placed before God... okay family is always placed before God right now and seeing it in a way that it's a craving I too have, something that completes me outside of God I need to take time to hone this as well. To take the good out of it but leave the worshiping and cravings on my life for God first! 

3. If it's true that you were made to crave, how might it change the way you understand your cravings? Do you believe there could be any benefits to listening to your cravings rather then trying to silence them? If so what might they be? If not why not?

As I said previously I came to realize that cravings are blessing when channelled in the right way. It depends what I'm craving, but unless it's God he has to be #1 and if my craving is becoming more important then him no there is not benefit. Food is my biggest issue hand down right now and when I crave certain foods it could be telling me about something my body need but generally it's just me wanting crap and it is best to use that time of craving to do something more beneficial then get fatter. 

4. The Bible describes 3 ways Satan tried to lure us away from loving God: cravings, lust of the eyes, and boasting. Lysa explains how Satan used these tactics with both Eve and Jesus. Using the list below think back over the last 24 hours or the last few days to see if you recognize how you have been tempted in similar ways.

  • cravings: meeting physical desires outside the will of God.
I have done this for half my life when it comes to food. It comforts me and gives me what I want temporarily. However since I have become more aware of this, in the past few days, I'm finding God's voice more prominent reminding me that I don't need that to satisfy me, in fact it won't. 
  • Lust of the eyes: meeting material desires outside the will of God.
I am definitely a spender. I love shopping and buying. As much as I'm a great sale shopper there are times when I'm just shopping for something to do not because of a need. A perfect example is that yesterday I bought  a $30 pair of work out pants, I already have 5 pairs!
  • Boasting: meeting need for significance outside the will of God. 
I feel like a horrible person right now! Seriously it seems that each one of these things I have so strongly in my life. I have a real tendency to put others down so that I look better. Or I brag about me and what I'm doing, subtly of course. 
  • Out of the 3 which of these is the most difficult to resist? easiest? Why?  
I don't know that I could pick one of the three, I have some major issues in each area. Things that need to be worked on and a chance for God to grow me :)

5. Jesus quotes the truth of scripture to defeat temptation. Have you ever used scripture in this way? What was the result? How do you feel about using this approach to address your unhealthy eating patterns?
I have used scripture when tempted but it's not something I do often. When I have done it I found that it was helpful to remember God's view on the issue. To be honest with you I don't find it always works for me though, there are times when I'm quoting the verse of my body being a temple and then 3 min later I'm back in the kitchen eating that cookie. I think that quoting scripture is a great tool but it also requires me to believe it as truth and for me to want it to change the outcome. I personally have found that when I stop and pray about the issue at hand it is the most effective way for me to break the bad eating habits I've started. 

Victories: Last night I had popcorn with my dinner and I ate my allotted amount and then grabbed more. After eating a couple of pieces I realized i was full. I really wanted more anyways but I didn't do it! I even left it sitting beside me for a while before I threw it away and though I still wanted it I was able to say NO! 
Also went for my first run last night! 

Prayer: Lord the changes you have made in me with my eating even in the pst couple days blows my mind. Thank you! It's not that I don't want things but it's now a fuzzy orange monster not my scitso man. Lord, I know this is going to keep getting harder before it gets easier so I thank you that you are right there with me and you're going to keep me going. Lord thank you for giving me a healthy body that can glorify you by exercising and getting into shape. Lord, please continue to be with me and  teach me during the next 6 weeks. 

Monday, January 20, 2014

Made To Crave Day 2

Today our challenge was to read chapter 1 and to reflect on it. We were to pick 3 things that jumped out at us... I'm a rule breaker so I picked 4... no in all reality I couldn't decide what 3 were best so 4 it was!
1. I need to praise God, that he made me to crave. It’s a real blessing that I have such a strong desire to be with him… now it just needs to be channelled that way.
2. “What we’re craving depends on what we’re consuming” As I consume more of God he will be what I crave!
3. The more saturated we are in truth the more able we will be to say no to our bad cravings.
4. Jesus could stand up to temptation when he was weak and hungry. Eve had everything she could want and she couldn’t say no to a piece of fruit.
Week 1 Word: Empowerment

Week 1 Verse: Psalm 84:2, My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord, my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I Thank you that you have given me this time, these next 6 weeks, to focus on you and how you made me for you. Lord, it's such a blessing to see why I do what I do. Why I crave food, why I don't want to spend as much time with you as I know I should. Lord it's because whatever I feed I will crave. When I feed my belly, my vanity, my pride those things will grow and crave more from me. But Lord, when I pour myself into spending time with you I will crave more of you. I will want to stop and talk to you and with you just because. Lord I thank you for showing me this truth. I thank you Lord, that you made me to crave. I thank you that you created me with such strong desires. I pray Lord, that those cravings, those desires would first and foremost be pointed towards you and then with your blessing and your power I will be able to take care of myself and others. Lord, I know that this is going to get hard and that I'm going to want to give up. I'm not going to want to get up so early to do my devotions, I'm not going to want to say no to unbenificial food. Lord, in those times remind me of the big picture. Remind me of your power to over come my weakness. Thank you Jesus that you will be there carrying me through this and that you have defeated satan already. Amen
Made it through day #1 eating in my curves plan! When I wanted something else I would pray and know that was not a choice that would bring glory to God. 

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Made To Crave Day 1

It's here! It's finally here! Today is the first day of the  Made to Crave online Bible study. I'm very nervous, I have fears that it's not going to work and I'm going to come out as hopeless as I am now. But then there's the other part of me that is saying FINALLY! This is going to be dealt with! I'm going to figure out how to put God as the god in my life and how I'm going to WANT to do this.

Week 1 Word: Empowerment

Week 1 Verse: Psalm 84:2, My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord, my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

My Prayer: Lord, you know that this isn't the first time I've read this book. This isn't the first time I've seen a need to change where I'm at in my life and how I rely on food so greatly. Lord, even yesterday I can see the lack of control I have towards food. If it's there I'll eat it and even when Im telling myself no it still happens. Lord, I 'm so done living like this. I don't care if I'm a size 2 and ripped I just want to be at the point where I don't NEED food. Lord, if I yearned for you the way I yearn for food how amazing would that be? If I couldn't get enough of you and would randomly sit down to read your word, pray etc. just because I was needing more of you, WOW! Lord, that's what I want, I want to want you. I want to crave you so much I just can't seem to get enough. Lord, with food it always leaves me wanting more and feeling emotionally empty. Lord, I want to want you more and more but I know in doing that I won't feel empty and broken I'll feel whole and full of you! Lord, I know you promise that he who comes and drinks from your fountain will never be thirsty again. I want that. Lord I thank you for making me with such strong desires, such strong cravings. Lord, I'm sorry that these haven't been used to worship you or for their true meaning but rather for sin. Lord, I constantly sin against you when I choose food. When food is more then a fuel for my body when it's my craving and my passion I'm wrong to give in. Lord Please forgive me and help me as I take steps in this. Lord, over this next 6 weeks with the help of this study and these ladies Lord break my love for food, "fitness", the numbers on the scale and Lord renew a passion in my heart for you and I know that if I desire you first in my life those other things are going to be manageable and that they are going to be used to fuel my work for you. Lord, I thank you that you don't give up and that you will never give up on me. I thank you that you know everything about me and that I can be real with you. I pray Lord that my desire, my craving for you would grow and that Lord you  would once again regain your role as Lord of my life. Lord, help me to find a healthy place for food, the scale and fitness in my life. A place where they will serve there purpose as fuel and the means to a stronger, healthier body not as a means to worth, happiness or to fill me. Thank you for your unfailing faithfulness. Amen

My Goals: 

Memorize the verse of the week
Pray before I eat anything
Start running*

6 Weeks:

Crave God MORE then food
Do 6 things that I find hard but that are worth pushing through

My Victories:

I know it's only day 1 but the fact that I was able to clearly see my dependence on food and how out of control it has become is huge for me! Now that I can really see it I can see my need for a true deep change. Thank you Jesus! 

*So a little sub note on the running. I know that this is first and foremost a struggle to overcome bad eating and replace it with Jesus Christ but I also want this for me to be out of my comfort zone. For me to do doing things that I don't find comfortable and easy. As I have said before I am very much a comfort and lazy person when it comes to life. I don't want to be that person who's content to sit around doing nothing because it's easy. I don't want to be that person who gives up, or only has themselves do things they know that they can do. I want to start pushing myself and show myself that with God on my side I don't need comfortable. This study is one of those things, I'm comfortable being 225lbs and eating what I want when I want to. But I know that settling in that is A) ruining my relationship with Christ and B) turning me into a person who is losing their zeal for life. So back to running, I don't feel that I need to be the best runner I just know that God doesn't want me to be settling for a mediocre life because it's an easy life he wants me to be able to push through the hard times, and when I can't do that he doesn't want me giving up, he wants me to learn on him and allow him to get me through those times. 

Monday, January 13, 2014

I can do it!

A few days ago I had to bring my car in to get some work done. While it was in I decided that I would go for a walk and then I figured I would do an errand to get it out of the way. The errand was a 30 min walk from where the car needed to go in. So off I went, in the rain, for a 30 min walk to sears. It wasn't too bad of a walk on the way there. I got to sears and picked up the decorations my mom wanted... It was one large plastic bag and one paper bag worth of stuff. Then I decided that I would hit up target too... unfortunately the christmas decorations were 90% off. 3 large bags of decorations later I was ready for my 30 min walk back to my car. Turns out when you're carrying that much stuff 30 min turns into 45.

Alright so I walk out the doors at target and realize that it is now raining a lot harder then when I go there.

I could call the dealership for a ride but I'm not going to do that! I'm going to walk back because I needed to finish my walk!

10 min in I thought my arms were going to fall off.

15 min in one of the bags ripped on a telephone pole

20 min in I stepped in a huge puddle and had soaking wet and muddy feet.

25 min... halfway back! and my paper bag got so wet it split right up the side.

Lets just say when I got back to the dealership I looked like a homeless drowned rat! And I couldn't move my arms because they were so sore!  

What did I learn from this? That when I decide I'm going to do something I can! I could have stopped at any point and called the dealership to come get me but I decided to press on and I did it!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Week 1 Update:

Sorry this is a little late, life has gotten busy!

Weight in- down 4.25!
Food- I'm not going to lie this week was about 60% good. I stuck to my eating plan  minus the popcorn at the movie Sunday, Monday I ate a bazillion cookies and tuesday we went to a potluck dinner so I wasn't 100% on plan that night. 
Work outs- I've gotten in my 4 this week and did set up and take down for an event at our church so that has to count for at least one more. Plus I had "The Walk" (I promise a blog post  on that soon!) 
$ - I've been too busy to spend much of it
Devos - I have been doing good keeping my devo time in the mornings. I'm currently going through the geneology of Jesus in Matthew and am reading about each of the people listed. It's taking a while but I'm getting a fresh perspective on some of these people. I also went and picked up the book for my online Bible study that starts in just over a week so I'm all ready! 

My goals for this week:
Weight in- down 3lbs
Food- Actually stick to my plan the whole week!
Work outs- 4 curves work outs
$ - Stick to the budget, maybe go walking rather then shopping
Devos - keep getting up early to spend that time with God. Get through the rest of that geneology!