Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Made To Crave Day 17

I've been feeling a little down with my eating plan this last week. I haven't been making horrible choices I'm just having a hard time coming up with good ones. I don't really even feel like eating the bad ones but when I eat what I'm supposed to I don't feel like I'm doing well either. It's weird, I can't really explain it all that well. I have been sick and am now recovering so I don't know if that's part of it or if I just need to really buckle down and push hard to follow my plan to a T. I've also been retaining water like crazy! not too sure what that's about. But I wonder if the real reason is I'm really antsy, I leave in 3 days for vacation and I'm setting myself up to fail there. I have a bad tendency to stop exercising and eating well just before I go away and then it gives me an excuse to screw up as much as I want while I'm gone and just get back at it once I'm home.... or in 6 months. I'm not doing that this time! I'm prepared! But I just wonder if some of these feelings of defeat are coming from past defeats. Because I can tell you I have been on plan and I plan on staying there because my relationship with Christ is more important then cookies and tacos.

Chapter 7 question time!
1.What mode do you kick into when you feel like you don't measure up?
I give up. When I eat one ting i shouldn't I just give up I figure that since I wasn't perfect what's the point. This is something I know know about myself and it's something I've tried to stop because it really does effect so many areas of my life. 

2. If you could clearly hear God's words to you throughout the day, what kind of things would you hope to hear Him say? What, specifically, would you like to hear him say when you are struggling with food choices or issues related to your weight?
That he would remind me of my true worth. That I'm not worthy of love because of what I do or who I am but because he made me. He loves me and that is enough. I don't need everyone to like me I don't need to do everything for everyone else to get their praise. 
Andrea, you are not defined by your size, you are not defined by your physical limitations, you are not defined by the amount you exercise or what you eat. You are defined in me. You are my child, I made you, you are worthy of love, you are loved. Getting healthier spiritually and physically is awesome but don't let your weight or your health define you, let me define you. 

3. Do you feel you have everything you need from God in order to overcome your struggles with food? Or is this one of those truths that looks good on Bible paper but doesn't seem to impact your everyday life (2 Peter 1:3)? How might your relationship to food change if you could fully embrace this truth?
Some days I feel like I do and some days it doesn't feel so real. But I KNOW I do! I know god has equipped me with everything i need! So when I dont' feel it I just have to trust in him. If I could fully embrace this truth, with food, I feel I wouldn't have these days when I'm down on myself, when I'm stressed about traveling or when I'm just not feeling like it's working.  

4. How do the numbers on the scale impact your self-worth? If Lysa's statement one you can make with full confidence or is it something you aspire to but haven't quite reached?
They definitely still have a hold on me. Yesterday I got on the scale and I was up a pound, this didn't make me happy, after all I'm actually following my plan. But I can see it's grip slipping! I was able to have peace yesterday knowing that a) I have been eating what I'm supposed to and b) I've been retaining water since I've been sick so it just needs to flush out. I also lost 3 pounds last week and it was nice but it didn't have that same Wahoo look what i did feeling I usually get. It was more a good, that's working! feeling. I know that these little victories are huge and I'm so grateful for them but I know that I'm not there yet where the number means nothing to me. I can't wait to get there!

5. What self-defeating thoughts or hurtful comments from others routinely run through your mind when it comes to food and your weight? What insights and perspectives do you gain when you scrutinize them with these questions:
I still have the is it worth it thought some times. Like is it worth all this work? Is it worth giving up some of the things I love? I still think sometimes when I get to a certain weight then I'll be beautiful, then i'll be more confident, then I'll be ready to take more chances. I have been trying to not even give those lies a chance to sink in. when one comes my way I tell it yes it's worth it. or my weight doesn't change who I am if I want to change that then I'm going to have to work through other things to get there. My thoughts have honestly been more about God. sometimes begging him for help. Sometimes questioning why, sometimes just thanking him for this opportunity but my thinking abbits are also heading in the right direction! 
  • Is this true?
  • Is this beneficial?
  • Is this necessary?
1. got all my water!  
2. got all my exercise in! 

Lord, today I don't want to pray for myself, I don't want to pray about my weight loss and struggle besides to say I give it to you today. Lord, today I want to take this time to pray for Mr. Molly. Lord he is so sick and it doesn't look promising. Lord, I know that you are the great physician you can heal him, you can heal him in a way the Dr's would say could never happen. Lord, I pray that you would do this that your healing hand would be upon him and that miracles would start to happen. Lord, revive him! Lord, I understand if this is not your will and if it's not Lord, be with his family comfort them in their time of loss. Lord, help this be a time where they can unite and support each other. Lord, if your plan is different then their hopes help them to see that you are good and that your plans are greater then they know. Lord, be there with them right now, giving them a peace that passes understanding and Lord, help them to be a blessing to those around them even in this incredibly hard time of their life. Lord, I life this whole family up to you and I pray that you would be glorified in whatever the outcome may be. Amen

Verse of the day:
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. 
Matthew 6:25-34

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